But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
