they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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