Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
