Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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