I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
