Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
