I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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