It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
