yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
