she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
