so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
