I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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