I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
