We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
