What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
