I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
