He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
