I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We had to coat check the pizza.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize