She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
