I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
