WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
