why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
