end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
