Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she looked like the before picture.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
