Where is the hickey?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Come see our sink grown plant.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
