I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
