i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
