I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
