i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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