That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
