Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you had me at cake vodka
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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