T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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