Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
