I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
