I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
