I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
