Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
