I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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