Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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