Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
