no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
