so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
