Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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