I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
