Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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