WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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