ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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