Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
