I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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