I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
