I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
