It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
