come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
